Single for a Reason

The Hit and Run

There was this guy that had liked me for a while and we had made out a few times and then he moved away. I knew he had recently come back into the city, and one night he called me and asked if he could come over.

We had a a few beers and he paintstakingly taught me the art of opening a beer bottle with my lighter. I then decided to have sex with this gentleman, and as we were in the middle of the act he goes ”sorry i cant do this, I didnt tell you I have a gf” and ran out of the apartment.

Man Jewelry

It all began with puka shell necklaces in middle school and now it seems everywhere you turn there is a gold chain necklace peeking out from underneath a guys shirt, subtly pinching on his chest hair and causing a strange, reviled feeling in the pit of your stomach that is the physical manifestation of your brain asking “Why is that man wearing a necklace?”

We have had numerous encounters with men wearing jewelry. Each experience made us cringe in the moment and laugh much later on down the line. Freedom of expression is great and all, but it’s got to be noted when a guy is ornamented. It’s just too funny to resist.

Sweet turquoise bracelet, dude.

                                         

What are your experiences with man ornaments? Please send in your stories. The best ones will be posted!

Xo SFAR

No idea why this guy is single.

Tell Me About Your Goals :)

This message was received by two young ladies within 24-hours of each other on Match.com. If you’re going to have a cookie-cutter e-mail you send out to many women, at least make it better than this. Come on dude!

And what is a chat engine?

Medical Photo: Male (NSFW)

Dear lady doctor, if all I had in my head about male genitalia was based on this medical photo in your office, I would never have relations with a man, and probably continue thinking male genitalia looked like small woodland creatures until the day I died.

Douche of the Week: Sham WOW

Oh, Vince. Vince, Vince, Vince. We always wondered when you would reveal the true inner creep lurking behind your wincing one-eyed exterior. Fortunately for us, that story has broken today.

Meet Vince Shlomi. You may recognize him as the television pitchman behind ShamWow and the Slap Chop- or as a character from a nightmare you’ve had, either one. Shlomi is the high-energy promoter behind two products peddled on television in the U.S. The kind of products that you can’t live without- and wait, you get two for the price of one!!

To be honest, I’m not really sure why anyone would hire this weird, creepy man to promote their products on national television, but they did and surprise!, he has issues.

The gossip website The Smoking Gun broke a story this morning revealing that Shlomi is being sued by his former assistant, 23 year old Jennifer Kosinski, for civil battery and intentional infliction of emotional distress. The details of course are much more explicit- aka he tried to force her to be his “love slave”, offered to pay her money to sleep in the same bed with him, and -wait for it- “$20,000 and a paid one month vacation for her parents to travel the world in exchange for her eggs”. Yes, like her lady eggs. Super creative workplace harassment and bribery right?

               

Again, not sure why anyone would have trusted this man to be anything but a creepster. But, then again, I didn’t invent the towel that holds 20 times its weight in liquid.

To read the full article on The Smoking Gun click here.

To view Shlomi in his ShamWow infomercial click here. Trust us, you want to watch the video.

Click through to the post to leave your comments.

Bro Sites

      

Over the past few years, a new generation of Bros has banded together and taken to the internet to discuss how “bro” and “frat” they are by comparing stories and trying to one-up one another with bro-iness. 

Some of our favorites are TFM (Total Frat Move), MLIB (My Life is Bro), and Brobible.com, all of which offer great reading material if you make yourself forget that these are real people.

Here is a list of some bro sites for your perusal:

1) http://mylifeisbro.com/

2) http://www.totalfratmove.com

3) http://www.brobible.com

4) http://www.consistentclose.com/

5) http://thebrocave.com/

And before we end this post, a note to the guys at TFM…

If you want to find a good girlfriend, you might want to remove yourselves from the mancave where you reside and aim a little higher than finding a girl who will make you a sandwich. The culinary arts have really come a long way. Then again, since you hold the women you sleep with in such primitive regard (e.g. calling them, “slampieces”- seriously, bros?), a piece of meat and two slices of bread is likely all you will get.

You wanted a baby and 18 years of child support? Hope that sandwich was worth it.

I wouldn’t share my sandwich with you!

Xo

SFAR

What We’re Reading | I Don’t Care About Your Band

Julie Klausner is a comedy writer, blogger, and as of February 2010, published author of a hilarious dating-centric book entitled, “I Don’t Care About Your Band”. Based in New York City, it appears that Julie has experienced many of the same dating nightmares we have- something we knew just by reading the subtitle: What I Learned From Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, Felons and Others Guys I’ve Dated. Ah, yes. Familiar.

                                        

We’ve not dated any pornographers (that we’re aware of), but we’ve definitely come across many of the other categories of NY man. And no, these are not stereotypes. They are frightening realities of the urban dating scene.

We can’t wait to keep diving into this book. To find out more, click here. To leave comments or tell us about other dating/relationship books we should be reviewing, click through to the post and leave your comments!

Xo

SFAR